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Thank you for writing this, Ashley. You’re completely right that the wellness industry is something offered to only the few; I remember when I first got married, I got sucked into believing those wellness influencers who were trying to sell their expensive supplements and meal plans, and as a newly wed with very little income, I often felt the guilt that I couldn’t afford to care my family’s health and that I was slowly killing them with toxins.

I also appreciated what you said about how sin becomes an issue that’s solvable by a life hack. Rather, sin is something deeply woven into our hearts that requires the cleansing of Christ and the careful work of the Holy Spirit. We must rely on God to be sanctified. But in the wellness world, it’s all about fixing ourselves by ourselves.

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I like how you say " fixing ourselves by ourselves" -- that seems really accurate. And a lot of church cultures do the same. Thanks for reading and commenting, Lara.

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I’ve wrestled so much with this - having chronic illness that is managed but not healed. I spend far more than I’d like on supplements and medication that thankfully do help me to function well most days. I often feel that I’m the limiting reactant in our family’s fun, but also how much worse could it be if I wasn’t able to do those things? But when I flare I still struggle with the sense of despair and failure. And I get so frustrated with the suggestions of quick fixes (even though I’m tempted to offer them myself? Such a weird paradox. I think you’re right. We just want it to be within our control). Our pastor preached on the healing at Capernaum a while ago and the point about Jesus forgiving the sins first being a direct affront to the idea that the sins caused the physical malady was so healing. So it’s both - they are so interconnected, but just as physical healing doesn’t negate the need to deal with our spiritual selves, the lack of healing is not a sign that we haven’t allowed God to deal with our sin. So much of my healing process was intricately connected to dealing with my trauma, but now I’m trying to disentangle it enough to not feel that I’m a failure for every symptom.

It’s bad enough to deal with chronic illness without constantly feeling that I’m responsible for it (and yet I don’t want to feel that I’ve lost all agency in the things I can change). Being an embodied person in a broken world is so freaking complicated.

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Annelise, this is so true and so much: "but just as physical healing doesn’t negate the need to deal with our spiritual selves, the lack of healing is not a sign that we haven’t allowed God to deal with our sin. So much of my healing process was intricately connected to dealing with my trauma, but now I’m trying to disentangle it enough to not feel that I’m a failure for every symptom." Thanks for vulnerably sharing your own story here!

I think the word "agency" you bring up is important. We do have agency! And sometimes our agency doesn't fix things or makes them worse (in all areas). It is rough-going. I'm hopeful you have a good community to belong to -- I think that's part of all of our healing.

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I wonder where the line is between our agency and God’s sovereignty you know? I think it would be so much simpler to either give up trying, or to keep going convinced I can fix myself. Living in the already and not yet tension as well and unwell, defying a world that wants to categorize is hard. I’m learning that community is so important here - to learn we’re loved when we can’t perform.

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Yep that combo of agency and God’s sovereignty is surely a mystery! And as you say, hard.

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“talk about church growth, church health, and a lack of toxicity — all these words and phrases presume we understand what is healthy (and unhealthy) and how we might get there. But what do we mean by health, wellness, and toxicity?” I’d refer you to Scott McKnight’s excellent book, A Church Called Tov for insights into a nontoxic and “healthy” church culture. It’s actually very specific and marks out clear lines for a church that harms vs. making congregants whole (as in the “shalom” sense).

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Thanks Liz! I've seen bits and pieces of the book so I'll look into it. Mostly I'm referring to how we talk about things like health and toxicity without really defining the goal of faith and church. Glad there are some exceptions!

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